French twaddle, no matter how frenzied, is to be avoided by members in the wake of the “In The Wake Of” affair. Buns will be awarded on a purely first come, first arrived basis, and all music, apart from that of Ronaldinho, will be barred. Wives and girlfriends are at your discretion, so you shouldn’t have picked such an awful one in the first place. There will be a large orchestra, but I’m buggered if they’ll play. Bizmillah term ends on the 19th, immediately preceded by Lateagain Term, which once again failed to materialise until well after Unfrock the Bigot Tuesday. My hearty commiserations to all who sail in her.

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